a chip on my shoulder

this is my new microchip. Scary, but necessary.

We had to order a special, 15-digit one online, because that's the only one that European scanners can read. You'd think that since humans are smart enough to invent such elaborate methods of tracing us, they would also be able to come to an agreement as to the microchip standards. But you'd be wrong. So U.S. microchips are not read by European scanners and vice versa. Nice, no? But fear not! Humans, smart as they are, they came up with a solution: if you have a pet with a U.S. microchip and travel to Europe, you can *rent* a scanner, take it with you on the airplane, scan your pet upon entry to the E.U. in order to prove that there is *some* microchip there, and then return the scanner to the U.S. Brilliant, isn't it? Of course, if the pet actually does get lost in Europe, you're out of luck, but oh well...