Lost in translation and other problems in intercultural communication

This week we had another episode in the landlord saga series. This time it was about me. Mom received a one-line email last week: "Please, close the door of the room where is the dog, because it smells a lot on the stairs." Can you believe this? Sure I smell, but so do humans. How come I never complain about the human stench?

Anyway. Mom was hurt by this email because she's been very careful about my smell. She vacuums every other day, changes my sheets twice a week, leaves the balcony doors open for most of the day when she's out, and even wipes my butt and paws after every walk, which really gets in my nerves. She also has a strong sense of smell (though not as strong as mine) and is always sniffing the air for odd smells.

So she asked Tracy if she noticed any smell, and, a couple of days later, our other downstairs neighbor. Nobody noticed any smells. So she replied to the landlord saying 'don't worry, nobody smells anything". She should have known, though, that this would make the landlord flip. A couple of emails later another emergency meeting was called. The landlord accused mom of trying to pick up a fight. Why did she reply to his email in such a manner? And why, oh why, did she have to talk to other tenants? This was unacceptable!

After another lengthy discussion, matters seem to be settled. However, this got mom started to think about intercultural communication again. She really doesn't think the landlords are mean people. They may be a little fussy, but they mean well. It's clearly something more. But what? Here are some ideas:

Problem A: Lost in translation. For my monolingual reader's information, English language uses a lot of mitigation. Direct orders or questions are rare. Instead, we use a lot of "could you please...", "would you be able to...", "I was wondering...", etc. Other languages, such as Greek, use a lot less mitigation. Mom's guess is that Bulgarian is similar. What does this mean? Simply put, a sentence literally translated from Bulgarian to English is more likely to sound rude and offensive, when it is not necessarily meant as such. For example, the sentence "please close the door" sounds a lot more like an order in English than it may sound in Bulgarian.

Problem B: different expectations about landlord-tenant relations. In the U.S. things tend to be less personal: tenant bears the responsibility of paying the rent on time, and on delivering the place at the end of the lease in the same condition as it was at the start of the lease. Landlord bears the responsibility of providing maintenance for the place. End of story. In Bulgaria, landlords (especially those living in the same building) have extra rights: they have an extra key to the apartment and let themselves in when they deem necessary; they may reserve the exclusive rights to watering the plants; they may give advice on which detergent to use in the bathroom and how to care for the furniture; and so on. Now, most of these are understandable when the rental apartment is furnished. Of course there is the risk of damage. But there is a fine line between worry, interest, and intrusion, and this line is culturally defined. You surely can see what I'm getting at. Between an American tenant, used to personal space and privacy, and a Bulgarian landlord, taking for granted their right to protect their property, trouble is around every corner.

Problem C: perceptions about third-party talk. In Bulgaria there seems to be some infatuation with secrecy. "I will tell you this but please don't tell x", or "I'll make this deal with you but it's between us", "don't tell people I give private lessons, only you know that", etc. Surely there is a lot of that stuff going on everywhere to a certain extent, but here it seems to have reached gigantic proportions. Issues that would not be of great importance to, say, Americans (such as offering private language lessons) seem to be top secrets here. That explains the landlord's flipping when he heard that mom had the nerve to ask her neighbor if he had any complaints about dog smell. You can see, of course, why mom, being too much of a straight-forward person (and proud of it!) would have difficulties with this attitude.

Of course there are other issues, such as me, for example. No landlord would be crazy about having a dog in the premises, although as I said mom is very careful with me and I also try my best - I never bark, I never chew, I never even made a mess despite my condition! But it's too late for that and there is nothing to be done now. But problems A, B and C are things that can be worked out with mutual effort and mom is determined to overcome them.

So she has decided not to take personal offense in any of the emails. She will also try to have a discussion with the landlord in the presence of an experienced interpreter, because the poor son of our landlord's is quite young for this job. He really tries his best but some things are beyond his English language abilities. Hopefully this will make a difference...otherwise we'll have to start counting the days till we see 'home sweet home' in Philadelphia again!